Saint Abba Anthony, when he was living in the desert, once fell into discouragement and great inner darkness. And he said to God: "Lord, I want to save myself, but my thoughts do not allow me: what shall I do in this affliction? How can I save myself?" And a little later, when he had gone out, Anthony saw someone like himself, sitting and working, then getting up from his work and praying, then sitting down again and weaving a rope, and getting up again to pray. And it was an angel of the Lord, sent to instruct and strengthen him. And Anthony heard the angel's voice: "When he heard this, he felt great joy and confidence, and by doing this he achieved salvation.
When one reads this story, the object of Saint Anthony's concern is astonishing from the point of view of modern man. Lord, I want to be saved....
Let's face it, worrying about salvation is not one of the first things on a 21st century man's mind. He has no shortage of worries. Problems of all kinds. But salvation is not necessarily at the top of the list.
And that in itself can be a challenge. - Learning to think about your salvation. To strive to be saved. - That's it, and that's all.
But let us go one step further.
As far as Abba Anthony is concerned, we have no doubt that his ambition was to live a holy life and to achieve salvation. But the fact that he had such beautifully defined goals did not protect him from the weakness described here as discouragement. But even in this matter we can learn something from our hero.
Abba begins by diagnosing his problem quite clearly. I have good intentions, but I experience thoughts that make it difficult for me to carry them out. Is he relying on himself? Does he look to himself for the solution? None of these things. Having diagnosed his situation, he turns to God. He goes to Him with the question of what to do. And he receives an answer.
In the case of Saint Anthony, this answer comes in an extraordinary and miraculous way. He had a vision in which he saw someone similar to himself. This someone is doing nothing other than what was Anthony's daily life. Prayer - work, prayer - work, prayer - work.... - Do this and you will be saved.
We learn two things from this. God always gives an answer. Not necessarily as directly as in the case of Saint Anthony, but always. And that is the beauty of it.
The second thing is even more beautiful. The way to salvation is not to make some unknown plan or programme. It is about living your life and fulfilling your vocation. With God and in God. Like Saint Anthony, who prayed, worked and thus achieved salvation.
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