Abba Anthony said to Abba Pojmen that this is the great work of man: to always bear his guilt before God and to expect temptation until his last breath.
Looking at this apophthegm, there are two thoughts to consider. The first speaks of a kind of honesty in one's approach to oneself and at the same time in one's relationship with God. It also seems to derive from a profound knowledge of human nature, in which there seems to be an inherent mechanism for putting oneself in the best possible light, even to the point of being dishonest.
To take one's guilt upon oneself is to stand before God in the truth about oneself. Also in relation to those events in our lives that are not something to be proud of.
Of course, one can cling to the fact that Abba Anthony emphasises the negative.... but if we think about it a little more, we have to admit that it makes sense. First of all, when it comes to bragging about what we've achieved, what we're proud of, we don't need much encouragement. That's something we can do ourselves, often more than we need to.
Admitting guilt, on the other hand ... is sometimes difficult, even for ourselves.
It seems to me that Abba Anthony's way of thinking lets us know that the attitude of taking one's guilt upon oneself is valuable in that it can be the beginning of conversion. Acknowledging one's guilt leads to repentance, and repentance becomes a source of healing in one's relationship with God and with others. Nor is Anthony in any way anxious to take on a burden of guilt that will lead to depression or breakdown. He knows that God wants to bring healing to the sinner. Relief.
The second thought contained in this apophthegm is a warning that grows almost directly from the words of Christ, who says Look! Anthony, an experienced monk who had fought temptation more than once, knew that Satan was a powerful and intelligent adversary who used deception masterfully. A momentary pause in the experience of temptation can be a fortress that makes a person lazy and gives him the conviction that he has won. And if the vigilance is let down, then comes the blow that can lead to a fall. Therefore, a person should always be vigilant so that he does not allow thoughts to enter his heart until the last moment that will lead him to sin and thus away from God.
